The Real Reason Your Dog Licks You (You'll Be Surprised)

00:01 Your dog licked you today.

00:04 Maybe it was your hand while you were

00:05 scrolling your phone.

00:07 Maybe it was your ankle for 30 straight

00:09 seconds while you tried to watch TV.

00:12 Most people think that when a dog licks

00:14 you, it means they love you.

00:17 And sometimes that is true.

00:19 But here's what nobody told you.

00:22 That lick wasn't a kiss.

00:25 Not in the way you think. What your dog

00:27 was actually doing is one of the most

00:29 psychologically loaded behaviors in the

00:31 entire animal kingdom.

00:33 And the truth behind it

00:35 is going to completely change the way

00:37 you look at your dog tonight.

00:39 Stick with me

00:41 because by the end of this video, you're

00:42 going to understand exactly what your

00:44 dog has been telling you for years

00:45 [music]

00:46 and why almost every owner on the planet

00:48 has been reading it wrong.

00:50 So let's get into it.

00:55 The kiss myth and where it actually came

00:57 from.

00:59 Let's start with the obvious question.

01:00 [music] If licking isn't kissing, then

01:03 why does every dog owner on Earth call

01:05 it that? [music]

01:06 The answer is actually kind of beautiful

01:09 and it comes down to human psychology,

01:11 not dog psychology.

01:13 We humans are wired to interpret

01:15 affection through our own lens. When

01:18 someone we love presses their face

01:19 against ours, it feels like love. So we

01:22 project that meaning onto our dogs.

01:24 >> [music]

01:24 >> And dogs,

01:25 being the brilliant social readers they

01:27 are, have learned over thousands of

01:29 years that when they lick us, we light

01:31 up.

01:32 We smile, [music] we laugh, we give them

01:33 attention.

01:35 We sometimes even give them treats.

01:37 So the behavior gets reinforced and

01:39 reinforced [music] and reinforced again.

01:42 But the original reason

01:44 your dog started licking you

01:46 has almost nothing to do

01:48 with romance or kisses.

01:50 It goes back to something that happened

01:51 to your dog in the first hours of their

01:53 life before their eyes were even open.

01:57 And once you understand that,

01:59 everything else clicks into place.

02:06 The first lick they ever knew.

02:10 Picture a newborn puppy.

02:12 Blind, deaf, completely helpless, unable

02:15 to regulate their own body temperature,

02:17 unable to go to the bathroom without

02:19 stimulation.

02:21 In those first critical moments of life,

02:23 the mother does something remarkable.

02:25 She licks her puppies head to tail over

02:28 and over again. That [music] licking

02:29 isn't sentimental.

02:31 She's stimulating their circulation.

02:34 She's helping them urinate and defecate

02:36 because

02:37 puppies physically cannot do that on

02:39 their own yet.

02:40 She's cleaning them, warming them, and

02:42 imprinting her scent onto them [music]

02:43 so they can find her

02:45 even without sight.

02:47 Now here's where the psychology gets

02:49 wild.

02:50 During these moments, the puppy's brain

02:52 is being flooded with what researchers

02:54 call foundational bonding chemistry.

02:57 Oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin.

03:01 The same cocktail of neurochemicals that

03:03 humans release during deep emotional

03:05 bonding.

03:06 The puppy learns at the deepest

03:07 neurological level possible that being

03:10 licked means warmth, food, protection,

03:13 and belonging.

03:15 So by the time your dog is old enough to

03:17 come home with you,

03:19 licking is already wired into their

03:20 brain as the single most comforting

03:22 sensation

03:23 >> [music]

03:23 >> they have ever experienced.

03:25 And when they start licking you,

03:27 they're drawing on the oldest, deepest

03:29 memory their brain has

03:31 and they're trying to share it [music]

03:33 and um with you.

03:37 Why dogs lick.

03:40 Specifically,

03:42 you.

03:43 Now here's a question that gets even

03:44 more interesting.

03:46 If licking is a bonding behavior, why do

03:48 dogs lick some people more than others?

03:51 Why does your dog lick you constantly

03:53 but barely touch your partner?

03:54 >> [music]

03:54 >> Why does my own dog practically ignore

03:56 my wife but try to groom me like I'm a

03:58 puppy every time I sit down?

04:00 The answer comes down to scent,

04:02 status, and psychological attachment.

04:06 And it's way more fascinating than most

04:07 people realize.

04:10 Your dog has already decided without

04:11 consulting you

04:13 who in the household is their primary

04:14 attachment figure.

04:16 This is determined by a combination of

04:18 factors.

04:20 Who feeds them?

04:21 Who walks them?

04:23 Whose scent they've marinated in the

04:24 longest?

04:25 Whose emotional state they've

04:27 synchronized with?

04:29 And who they feel the deepest

04:30 physiological response around.

04:33 When your dog licks you specifically,

04:36 they're reinforcing that attachment

04:37 [music] bond.

04:38 They're mixing your scent with theirs.

04:41 They're telling themselves on some deep

04:43 level

04:44 that you belong to them

04:46 and they belong [music] to you. And from

04:48 a canine social standpoint, this is the

04:50 highest possible expression

04:53 of group membership. There's a concept

04:55 in animal behavior called allogrooming,

04:58 mutual grooming between social animals.

05:00 It exists in primates, [music]

05:02 in wolves, in elephants, in dolphins,

05:04 and it serves one central purpose. It

05:07 builds and maintains the social bonds

05:09 that hold the group together.

05:11 >> [music]

05:12 >> When your dog licks you,

05:14 that is precisely what they're doing.

05:16 They're performing an ancient ritual

05:17 that predates domestication, predates

05:19 [music] human civilization, predates

05:22 almost everything we know.

05:27 The chemical truth hiding in your skin.

05:30 Here's where this story takes a turn

05:32 most dog owners have never heard about.

05:35 Your dog isn't just licking you for

05:36 emotional reasons.

05:38 They're also licking you because you,

05:40 biologically, are fascinating to them.

05:43 Your skin is constantly producing and

05:45 releasing a chemical signature that is

05:46 completely unique to you.

05:48 Salt from sweat,

05:50 lipids [music] from your sebaceous

05:52 glands,

05:53 hormones being excreted through your

05:55 pores,

05:56 stress chemicals released during tough

05:58 days,

05:59 oxytocin released during happy [music]

06:01 ones,

06:02 residue from the food you ate, the

06:04 perfume you wore,

06:06 the person you hugged 6 hours ago.

06:09 To your dog, [music] you are essentially

06:11 a living, walking chemistry report and

06:13 their tongue is one of the most

06:15 sophisticated analysis tools in the

06:17 animal kingdom.

06:18 Dogs possess something called the

06:20 vomeronasal organ located on the roof of

06:23 the mouth.

06:24 It's a specialized sensory organ that

06:26 detects chemical compounds your dog's

06:28 nose alone

06:30 cannot fully process.

06:32 When your dog licks you and then does

06:34 that funny thing where their tongue

06:35 presses against the roof of their mouth,

06:37 they're basically running your chemical

06:39 signature through an advanced biological

06:41 scanner.

06:42 This is why your dog can often tell when

06:45 you're sick before you can. It's why

06:47 service dogs can detect seizures minutes

06:49 before they happen,

06:51 low blood sugar in diabetic owners,

06:53 >> [music]

06:54 >> and even early stage cancers that human

06:55 doctors have missed. That random licking

06:57 your dog does on one specific spot of

06:59 your body

07:01 might actually be [music] them telling

07:02 you something about your health that you

07:04 haven't figured out yet.

07:07 There are dog owners who got diagnosed

07:09 with skin cancer because their dog would

07:11 not stop licking the same mole.

07:14 That [music] is no coincidence at all.

07:17 What you're seeing is the oldest

07:19 diagnostic system on the planet and it's

07:21 been living in your house this whole

07:23 time.

07:28 The post-separation

07:30 lick.

07:31 Let's talk about one of the most

07:32 misunderstood licking moments of all.

07:36 You walk through the front door after

07:37 being gone for 6 hours and your dog

07:39 explodes. They jump, they wiggle, they

07:41 whine,

07:42 and then they start licking your face

07:45 like [music] their life depends on it.

07:47 What's actually happening here

07:48 is your dog is decontaminating you.

07:50 While you were gone, you picked up

07:52 hundreds of foreign scents.

07:54 Other people, other dogs, cars,

07:56 buildings, food, pollution,

07:59 strangers [music] who petted you,

08:01 co-workers who touched your jacket.

08:04 To your dog, you came home smelling

08:06 wrong.

08:07 You came home smelling like a hundred

08:08 things that aren't [music] part of their

08:10 group.

08:11 And their instinct, inherited straight

08:13 from their wolf ancestors,

08:15 is to fix that immediately.

08:18 By licking you,

08:19 they're removing those foreign scents.

08:21 They're reapplying their own scent.

08:22 They're essentially resetting you back

08:25 to the version of you that belongs to

08:27 them. It's the psychological equivalent

08:29 of a partner brushing lint off your

08:30 shoulder when you come home, except

08:32 magnified by about 10,000.

08:34 This is also why dogs often lick you

08:36 more intensely [music] after you've been

08:37 away for longer periods.

08:40 A quick trip to the mailbox gets a

08:41 sniff.

08:42 A full weekend away gets a full body

08:43 grooming session.

08:45 The longer you've been out in the world

08:47 picking up contamination, the more work

08:49 your dog feels they need to do to bring

08:51 you back into the fold.

08:56 The anxiety lick and why it matters.

09:00 Now here's where we have to talk about

09:02 something a little more serious.

09:04 Not all licking is healthy licking and

09:06 as someone [music] who cares about dogs,

09:08 this part is important. There's a

09:10 specific type of licking that crosses

09:12 the line from bonding into what

09:14 behaviorists call a displacement [music]

09:15 behavior.

09:17 This is when a dog licks obsessively,

09:19 compulsively,

09:20 to the point where it's no longer

09:22 communication,

09:23 it's self-soothing.

09:26 Signs of anxious licking include

09:29 licking themselves until they have bald

09:31 spots or raw skin,

09:33 licking furniture or walls for long

09:35 stretches [music] of time,

09:37 licking the air constantly with no scent

09:39 trigger and licking you in a way that

09:40 feels frantic rather than affectionate.

09:43 This kind of licking releases endorphins

09:45 in the dog's brain, which temporarily

09:47 relieves emotional distress.

09:50 The dog has essentially discovered their

09:52 own pharmacy

09:53 and they're using it to medicate

09:54 feelings they don't know how to process.

09:57 Boredom, loneliness, stress, fear,

09:59 physical pain.

10:00 And in some cases, gastrointestinal

10:03 issues like acid reflux that create a

10:05 constant need for oral stimulation.

10:08 If your dog's licking ever starts to

10:10 feel more compulsive than affectionate,

10:13 that's your cue to get a vet check

10:15 first, rule out medical causes, and then

10:17 address the mental and environmental

10:19 side.

10:20 More enrichment, [music] more exercise,

10:22 more mental work, more connection time.

10:24 A dog that's licking out of love looks

10:26 completely different from a dog that's

10:28 licking out of desperation.

10:30 And learning to tell the difference is

10:32 one of the most important skills you can

10:34 develop as an owner.

10:39 The status story nobody talks about.

10:43 Here's another angle almost nobody

10:45 discusses. In canine social structure,

10:48 who licks whom matters, a lot. In wolf

10:51 [music] packs and in dog groups, lower

10:52 ranking individuals will often lick the

10:54 faces of higher ranking members.

10:57 Humans tend to read this as submission,

10:59 but it functions more like a respectful

11:01 greeting.

11:02 It's saying, I acknowledge you, I see

11:04 you, we're good.

11:07 Puppies do this constantly [music] to

11:08 adult dogs.

11:10 Younger dogs do it to older ones. And

11:12 many dogs [music] do it to their humans

11:15 because in their social framework,

11:17 you are the most important figure in the

11:19 room.

11:20 When your dog licks your face and you

11:22 lean down to receive it, you're actually

11:24 participating in an ancient exchange

11:27 [music] that has been happening between

11:28 canines for hundreds of thousands of

11:30 years.

11:31 You're accepting their greeting.

11:33 You're affirming the bond, you're

11:34 closing the social loop.

11:37 This is also why some dogs get offended

11:40 [music]

11:41 if you block their lick.

11:43 They're not just being denied affection.

11:47 They're being denied the chance to

11:49 complete a social ritual that their

11:50 brain is telling them is necessary.

11:53 Some dogs will walk away seemingly

11:55 pouting after being blocked. Not because

11:57 they're throwing a fit,

11:59 but because in their mind,

12:01 something important just didn't happen.

12:08 The healing lick.

12:10 There's one more layer to this, and it's

12:13 maybe the most touching one of all.

12:16 Dogs have a documented instinct to lick

12:18 wounds, [music] their own, each others,

12:20 and yours. Their saliva contains certain

12:22 antibacterial compounds. And while

12:24 modern science tells us we shouldn't let

12:27 dogs lick open wounds on humans for

12:29 hygiene [music] reasons,

12:30 the instinct behind it is real and

12:33 ancient.

12:34 When you come home, hurt, stressed,

12:37 crying, or sick, and your dog

12:39 immediately fixates on licking you.

12:43 They are not confused. They are reading

12:45 your chemistry.

12:46 They're reading your behavior. And they

12:48 are attempting [music] to help you the

12:50 only way they know how.

12:53 The way their mother helped them.

12:56 The way pack members have helped each

12:58 other [music] since long before humans

12:59 walked upright.

13:01 Researchers at institutions like the

13:03 University of London have documented

13:05 something called [music] empathic

13:06 concern in dogs.

13:08 When humans cry,

13:10 dogs respond with measurable distress

13:12 and active [music] comforting behavior.

13:15 And the number one comfort behavior they

13:17 reach for is licking.

13:19 So, the next time your dog won't stop

13:20 licking your hand during a hard moment,

13:22 understand what's [music] actually

13:23 happening.

13:25 They feel your pain.

13:27 They don't understand the source of it.

13:29 But they are doing the one thing their

13:30 entire biological history has taught

13:32 [music] them works.

13:35 They're trying to ground you, comfort

13:36 you, and bring you back to a place where

13:38 you feel whole.

13:43 What to do with this information?

13:46 So, now that you know what's really

13:47 going on,

13:49 what do you actually do with it?

13:51 First, stop brushing off your dog's

13:53 licking as just cute behavior. [music]

13:56 Start paying attention to when it

13:57 happens, where it happens, and how

13:59 intense it is.

14:01 Your dog is telling you things every

14:03 single day through this behavior.

14:05 And most owners miss all of it.

14:07 Second,

14:08 if your dog licks you a lot after you

14:10 come home,

14:11 enjoy it.

14:13 Let it happen for at least a minute or

14:14 two before you redirect.

14:16 You are giving your dog the

14:17 psychological closure they need after

14:19 your absence.

14:20 And you're strengthening a bond that

14:22 goes back thousands of years.

14:24 Third,

14:25 if the licking ever crosses into

14:27 obsessive territory,

14:29 take it seriously.

14:31 Get the vet check.

14:32 Increase [music] enrichment.

14:34 Consider working with a professional

14:36 trainer or a veterinary behaviorist.

14:39 Compulsive licking is often one of the

14:40 earliest signs that something in your

14:42 dog's life is out of balance. And

14:44 finally,

14:45 try this.

14:47 Next time your dog licks you,

14:49 pause for a second.

14:50 Don't pull away.

14:52 Don't laugh it off.

14:53 Actually receive it.

14:55 Let yourself feel what's really being

14:58 communicated.

15:00 The trust, the history,

15:02 the biology,

15:03 the ancient bond between two species who

15:05 somehow figured out how to love each

15:07 other against every evolutionary odd.

15:11 Because that lick

15:12 isn't a kiss.

15:13 It's something so much bigger [music]

15:15 than a kiss.

15:17 It's your dog saying,

15:19 in the oldest language they have, you

15:20 are mine, I am yours.

15:23 And for as long as this life lasts,

15:25 we belong to each other.

15:30 Thank you so much for hanging out with

15:32 me today.

15:34 If this gave you even one new way of

15:35 seeing your dog, hit [music] that

15:37 subscribe button so you never miss what

15:39 we put out next. Like the video, and

15:42 drop a comment telling me where your dog

15:43 licks you the most.

15:45 I read every single one.

15:47 Give your pup an extra scratch behind

15:49 the ears for me tonight.

15:51 You two have something special.

15:53 Onward and upward.